New Year's Resolutions

1. Graduate. !!!!
Many corollaries to this.

2. Lead outdoor 5.11s
2.a. Corollary: Climb a lot.

3. Travel. A Lot.
3.a. Corollary: Renew Passport.

Happy 2011! Only one more year until... Dun DUn DUNNNNNNN
...
Zombies! or worse!

And since I probably won't be posting anything this Friday because I'll either be doing one of the corollaries to #1, or something in the vein of 2.a., the Friday Foto is H3R3!!!


Happy New Year :D
Visit Original Page: HERE

Mondoetry: This Body

if i didn't have this body
would you still have talked to me
and poured out your life story
effortlessly

if i didn't have this body
would you still have tried as hard
to get into my life

would you still have said those things
about wanting me to be your wife

if i didn't have this body
would you still misinterpret my big heart
as an open invitation
to take advantage of

if i didn't have this body
would you still make all these offers
open doors
and lay down carpet
just for the time that i would walk it?

if i didn't have this body
would my actions still represent
a seeming desperate hot mess
or someone who just wants to be your friend

if i didn't have this body
would you still hold me at arm's length
because you think a beautiful woman
is not to be trusted?

if i didn't have this body
would you still
see

me


?

Friday Foto: Banksy, on Americans, on the World

HmmmMMmmmm...there is so much more of his work out there, I might have to do a second themed photo post.

Happy Friday and have a lovely weekend!
I get to go back up north next week, so i'm excited to see my family but maybe not so much for the cold...but kind of excited to see some snow again. :) x

Tuesday's Child

i saw white drifts
dance across the street
in your hair in your face
it cut knife deep

i heard birds sing
out of thin air
in my head in this space
they were everywhere

i felt warm orange
drift beneath the sky
above the clouds beneath my feet
but no answers to my cry

tuesday
to tuesday

but i think i have to try

Friday Foto: Red Bull Riding

Just look.

Here.

this is how the story goes...

Something cool before I go off on my expoundatoryness. Amazing street art.check it.

SO.
HMMM...
Do you ever get into the right mind set to get something done? Maybe at first you have some other things going on, obligations, involvitations, completitions (seriously, i saw that "word" in an academic paper/website I was going through for my research. my thought... "...really?!" /end aside), or even hobbies and leisure activities.

These days it's easy to have a lot of hobbies. High definition photography is enabled for the common man via high- or mid- but sub-pro level DSLR cameras. Youtube videos teach us how to DJ, how to put on our makeup, how to make tables, chairs, play the guitar, and probably a lot of other things that I'm forgetting. And if it's not on youtube, there's a DIY tutorial or magazine article available for you to read. Case. In. Point. Oh wait i forgot to mention breakdancing, a must-know in the A-tee-ell.

When I was a little beh-beh, maybe toddler/youngster-ish. . . apparently (I have no recollection of this) I used to try so hard to stay awake as long as I could if my parents had friends over, in case of missing some excitement that might occur if I were to fall asleep. Because everyone knows my parents were such party animals...

So I don't think that's changed much. In my little corner of life I have opportunities to be involved in the artistic community, entertainment and music industry, and as with living in a bigger city, more opportunities to be involved with charity and urban outreach programs and ministries. Additionally, I love being with others who are walking in a similar faith journey as I am, to learn from them, encourage, and be encouraged by them. Oh wait, on top of that, I ALSO forgot to mention the whole trying-to-graduate thing. And a recent obsession with rock climbing. And I have people to keep in touch with even here in town. And i'm not doing a very good job at that...

Let's return to the initial topic. From this past summer up until now, starting with the Imogen Heap blessing and opening opp, I have been noticing the high level of focus and perseverance that others have in their own areas of awesomeness/expertise. The drummer who's been playing with us of late is just such an example of how much hard work can pay off over time. It may be a slow start or a difficult initial hill to get over but as one grows in their skill new doors and plains open up.

I began to look at my own life. What do I want to do or be doing, or have done ten years from now? I made a 5 year plan five years ago, but now that time has come and gone, and I haven't made another plan for the next five. I'm just going to say it. I lack focus. And I've got my foot in far too many things. I made a list of everything I'm doing. It was way too long. (twss?) Probably half of the items were things that are ending in the next few weeks. After that? Will I keep taking on temporary projects that don't get me closer to my goals for the next five years of my life?

I want to learn more languages.
I want to expand my artistic and musical talent.
Where do I want to go? And how far do I plan to go?

In my mind I need to answer these questions but this diploma is keeping me from being able to think about them seriously. That in itself is giving me a lot of motivation and drive to finish this thing and move on with my life. The students I started with are beginning to defend and graduate. And my process is beginning to come together. I think it will be like a giant snowball rolling down a snowy mountain.



I'm starting to care less about missing out on things I think I might be missing out on and more intentional about doing the things I need to or want to. I feel like some action is needed on this, but I'm not sure in what areas yet, or to what extent. There's always the hermit option, which gets the job done but is never good for social life or skin tone. I'll keep you guys posted on this. :/ But for now I gotta get a little more work done before I jet off today.

And if you didn't see it yet... I've been dabbling in levitation photography lately. It's Soooper fun!

bright lights

bright lights bright lights
you say
it's not a sight too unseen
in these parts
the trio you belong
that gets the sound out
until the daylight comes

confused you seem not
too detached
from the way i walk
square circles
floating on the surface
etched into you

but you have a smoke
and mellow out
and play the
low notes low notes
lasers lights and twirling

Freebirds
the streets
of Seoul
i wonder what
love looks like
in your world

every week
this paper storm
rings in
you falling in the park
up the road
into your bed
on the floor
beneath your bright lights
bright lights

sunrises on the rooftops
you need a friend
you're thirsty again
from all the dancing

i wonder what
love looks like
in your world

~

(c) 2010 Stephanie Mma

Friday Foto: Montage

Thoughts?

Mondoetry: Wayfarer

never fear that you’ll be swept up in the mainstream
no, your feet are planted far too firmly for that
when the air I breathe feels like its jumping down my throat
the arm I see and I’m holding onto

days stretch out
long nights are cold alone
I might be flying
who knows where
your heart’s my second home

seem to see you through rose colored glasses that you gave me
when they’re gone you haven’t changed
we could still pick up from the spot I saw you last
before your magic is all caught up in the spotlight

days stretch out
long nights are musicless
I might be dying, sighing
who knows where
I could lay my soul to rest

the rush I wonder if I’m heading where I ought to be
a general direction that you’re waiting there for me
when the life I have feels like strongest riptide
you’re the rock I’m holding onto

days grow old
long nights are longer still
I might be crying
who knows where
love and life begin at all



*Author note: sometimes my past self astounds me. I wrote this in early 2003 and there has been no editing. originally it didn't have a title but i gave it one because i don't like to use the title "Untitled". it is hard to believe that was already over 7 years ago!

(c) 2003 Stephanie Mma

Friday Foto: Mallorca

Chris Sharma deep water solo project in Mallorca.

sigh.

At Random.

10 things.

1). So glad for the friendship of those that are walking with me in this passage of my life. Your honesty and time are not taken for granted. And you are all amazing in your own right. :)

2). Now I have to write a paper before I can graduate. As if I didn't have enough on my plate already. This may actually push off some of the other things, however... hmm... I am rather looking forward to addressing this challenge but am so so scared of getting torn to pieces by paper submission committees...

3). I tried my first batch of cold-brew iced coffee on Saturday. Delicious. However I need to make more!!!!!

4). People are so crafty sometimes!


5). Like to inhale aerosols? Enjoy bright colors? :D yes. And please wear a mask!!!!

6). The place where I live now is amazing and I am so thankful to be here with a roof over my head, a place to lay my head, and even a touchscreen microwave. I know that many people live with much much less and I don't ever want to take this for granted. Wondering how I can make a change in this area to help others. ..

7). A renewed perspective on who I am, and my goals for the near future and for my life in general is both encouraging AND challenging at the same time. I am learning more and more each day. And there is STILL so much to do, on so many levels.

8). A long but very interesting quote. I think it deserves a moment or two of your ponderous energies, but that's just me.

"It may be possible for each of us to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbour. The load, or weight, or burden, of my neighbour's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you may talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and corruption such as you now meet if at all only in a nightmare.

All day long we are in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never met a mere mortal, Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations, these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit -- immortal horrors or ever lasting splendours. "

~C.S. Lewis

9). Just Watch.


10). And I will leave you with my current jams:
   flags - Brooke Fraser
   Let Go - Toby Lightman
   Building a Bomb - Little Tybee
   Soldier of Love - Sade
   Lilies - Arovane <- my sleepy-time album!

Mondoetry: Rain by Shel Silverstein

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

: Shel Silverstein :

Friday Foto: Silhouette

More of Andrew Sullivan's work can be seen here.

Why do I feel like this

Cooking, and Procrastination

I thought we'd keep in the flavor of posts starting with C's... first there was Connecting, and then Conformity...

::: Cooking!!! :::
I enjoy cooking when I have the time. (Who doesn't like to chop things, mix things furiously, and baste delicately?! Mainly I like chopping and then smelling how good the garlic smells when I throw it in the pan!) When I first arrived in the fine Peach State, I didn't have a lot of friends and spent the majority of my weeknights trying some new recipes or making up my own dinner ideas. Not all of them were successes...such as the picture below, Mystery Stew which I thought was pretty gross but tried to eat for a few days anyway because I made a huge pot of it. Warning: chopagetti ramen does NOT make a good stew base!


There were and are various sources from which I received and/or mooched recipe ideas from. Including but not limited to: my local coffee shop chef, friends who are amazing cooks, various websites, google, and some amazing Southern legacy recipes from my aunt's church cookbook! :D There are a lot of cooking sites online, but my two favorite are:

1) allrecipes.com which has many different categories of recipes, as well as the feedback from many cooks who've tried them, and even daily suggested recipes! You can register and store recipes in your recipe box for fast look-ups, and you can even create your own grocery list from the needed ingredients! The two recipes that I have really enjoyed from this site are the Pumpkin Cookies VII (hands down all around these do not last long when friends are near. I add about another 1/3 cup of pumpkin puree to make the flavor stronger and the dough even smoother) and the Toscana Soup - by ken miller - which is the OG soup of choice for me, and an amazing fall/winter soup to have. With the potatoes and sausage it's very filling. And DELICIOUS! It goes very well with a nice salad and some buttery garlic bread.

2) saveur.com which is not a recipe network but instead a spot where all the awesome recipes on the web are gathered and categorized for your convenience. Sort of like a reddit but for cooks! There apparently is also a magazine, which is what the website is for. I haven't been using this site as long as allrecipes.com, but I am excited to try some of the fancier dishes here. Saveur also is a good enabler for finding even more recipe sites. I found out about this through Toscano & Sons, an Italian market/cafe on the Atlanta Westside that has some fun recipes and delicious authentic panini, as well as hard to find ingredients available.

ANyway, not everyone needs these recipes to make a sweet dinner dish - parents and grandparents often also have some great recipes, and it's good to connect with them and be interested in some of their favorite foods too, right? :) My mom's Chinese baked bun (mantou) recipe and my dad's Chinese dumpling recipe are the family favorites to eat! The dumplings get snatched up pretty quickly whenever I take them anywhere ;)


So, happy cooking, and don't be afraid to try a new recipe or modify it if you didn't like the original way it turned out. And if you haven't too much time to do such cooking, be encouraged, not discouraged. And maybe make time once a week to do so if you still really want to.

And now, on to the
::: Procrastination :::
I've been trying to get back into my lomographical photographical tendencies. Currently needing to fix my holga camera but I stumbled across these online: cool pictures from a lomo camera. When u adapt the camera for 35mm film (it usually uses 120mm rolls) it looks like this (pretty awesome):


And something more serious, Stop the Candy Shop - a movement to address sexual exploitation of children. In Atlanta, occurring. Happening. It makes me very upset that this goes on. And this hit home as well, since I grew up in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. There is a metro number to call and a national number as well if you see someone who you think may be a trafficking victim. Not sure what "trafficking" means? Nightlight, an organization that works to end human sex trafficking (incl. but not limited to children), has some helpful information here and also has an Atlanta branch which is actively involved in at-risk communities to help with preventative programs and restoration programs. These organizations are both faith-based, but I believe that restoration must be holistic to be true and complete restoration, and that is how in these venues, the issue is being addressed. Physical, emotional, social, economic/political, and spiritual.

On that note... i want to go about this week without any blinders on - I feel like with such a busy schedule it's so easy to just drive forward and ignore the things and sometimes people, that aren't my immediate concern... but that's not how I want my days to go...

ciao xx

Mondoetry

maybe things
will be
better

in the morning

FridayFoto: Wanderlust

Amazing black and white work from Africa by Nick Brandt(UK).

which reminds me. I need to renew my passport.

Conformity

When I was beginning in my rock climbing endeavors (btw if you are interested but haven't done it because you are nervous I would encourage you to attack this challenge! find a friend who climbs and make them take you, or take a lesson from a climbing gym. Or double win, if you have a climbing friend who works at a gym, you are good to go!), I would always have trouble once I hit the halfway point up the wall. Typically I climbed on 30 or 40 foot walls, and halfway up, I would suddenly find myself on the verge of hyperventilation and my hands would start sweating profusely, which made it difficult to continue climbing without worsening the hyperventilation.



You just get up there and then realize, I am a couple stories off the ground and the only thing between me and the cold hard concrete is some fabric strappage, a rope, some person I may or may not actually trust with my life, and if you are indoors, a 3" piece of foam laid on the ground. But if you want to keep climbing, you push past that place... or drag it with you, thus expending 3 times the amount of energy that you actually should have, just to get to the top and touch the last bolt.

My point in sharing this story was just to say that as I continued climbing, it got easier and easier to overcome this fear. (until you start lead climbing, and then you have to deal with it on a whole new level) This week I've been mulling over the idea of conformity. I think that idea of pushing past your fear carries in this realm. The fear or struggle may be in dealing with yourself and the desire to be what everyone else is or is trying to be, or it may be in dealing with the fear of being rejected or unaccepted for being different. At least for me this was a very real issue I have had to deal with. Even now I am still growing in this area...definitely!

From almost day one (ok maybe there are a couple of years of cultural grace) western/ American society gently or sometimes not so gently pressures us to be. like. From the beginning we are shown a series of hoops which, we are told or it is implied to us, that if we learn the tricks and jump through these hoops, on the other side will be the end product of a full and happy life.



Non-conformists tend to find their own way and sometimes ignore the established system, creating their own, but the same can be said of their paths as well. They believe that being non-conformists and all the alternative hoops contained therein opens the gateway to a fulfilled life, by which might also be define as a life outside of the hoops set by mainstream society.

My main point with going through this thought process is to say that in some circles we have lost the importance of being. just for the sake of being who we were meant to be.

Every one is different, from biological and chemical makeup to the circumstances through which we are taken as we travel on the road in front of us. We make different choices than everyone else (or at least perhaps we ought to every once in awhile) and no one lives the life of someone else.

This is not to say that we do not need the presence, influence, and friendship of other people. Not in the least. In a group, the tendency may be to all become like one another in perhaps a behavioral or aesthetic sense, but in reality, you, as a unique individual, have so much to offer from being the most you that you could ever be. Various individuals through history have either recognized this and embraced it, or just all-out lived it.

And of course the token hyperbolic example: With loss of pain came the loss of depth...

These are a lot of words. Conformity or nonconformity for either's sake is completely the wrong goal. I am the best me that anyone could ever be. And you are the best you, that anyone could ever be. And if I am trying to be someone, anyone other than me, I sincerely believe that I would be missing out on some serious blessing in my life.

Think about it.

PS - today's entry was sponsored by the letter W, for wikipedia, because I linked to it like a bajillion times through this discussion...

PPS - there's a friday foto coming, but here's a little snapshot of where i've been haunting about lately. :)

Mondoetry: i'll be just a ghost to you soon

if there's a way that we could stay together
i don't know that i would choose you
i will miss you dearly
but i think i'm ready
and you're
already moving on

you are
your own
moments unknown
sometimes i
don't even speak
your language
sometimes it's
just me in the room
you are
your own
moments unknown
well i'll be just a ghost to you soon
i'll be just a ghost to you soon
i'll be all alone

sun has set and it's the colder weather
but i don't think that i would change it
you seem to know what's going on
but you're still walking with me
like you don't
plan on the beyond

you're still walking with me
like you
won't be moving on

i'll be just a ghost to you soon
i'll be all alone
~

(c) 2010 Stephanie Mma

Friday Foto I: Apocalypse Rising

Time-Lapse this week, with some lovely music to go with it. Visit Albert to see some of his other stuff!

Because it's Halloween weekend this is just Part I. Part II will occur in a day or two.... Muahahahaha.

Connecting ...

It's probably actually in the throes of what might be called a death rattle, but the 6 degrees of separation game (particularly the version involving Kevin Bacon), if various interesting personalities are involved, never gets old.

When we meet someone from a place we have spent time, the "name game" inevitably gets played, even if the conversation goes something like this...

he: oh, you're from new york?
she: yeah i interned there for two years.
he: i knew an intern who lived in new york.
she: what was their name?
he: fnu mnu lnu!
she: i have no idea who that is
he: he interned the same time as you, maybe you guys took the same bus
she: ...
he: ... subway? tall guy with brown hair, glasses, ??
she: ...
she: ... *awkward...

Even more exciting, and possibly less awkward, is when the two conversationalists discover that there is some sort of connection between her old hometown and his one facebook friend that he hasn't ever met. Probably the most amusing to me is when we all start trying to show off our connections to famous celebrities... in a big enough group there's always someone with a ridiculously awesome story about how they drove the parade car for king so-and-so from some European country or ran a marathon with Zachary Levi... (what?!)

Our tendency, however, within the humanitarian maze that is society, is to not make these connections with strangers on the train, bus, sidewalk, grocery store line, restaurants... The isolationism, whether it comes from the individualistic American and/or Western culture, easily puts up invisible walls between people. Unless a connection is made.

I was just reminded of it tonight. I took an introductory acting workshop at a local theater, and the instructors stressed the focus needed to be completely within the exercises, but also the need for myself, as one of the players in the situation, to connect somehow with the other players. One of the exercises was particularly revealing of very personal moments that ranged from insanely comical to almost-i-cried-maybe-a-tear-or-two. After the workshop was over, I felt very connected with the other participants, and I feel safe to say that many of them also felt the same way.

Sometimes there are little nudgings to engage with others that I pass by on the street, on campus, in the neighborhood, etc. Most of the time I ignore the nudge. Why? Maybe someone needs to hear a friendly hello. I keep telling myself that one day I will designate an entire day to obeying those nudgings. I am scared to commit to that. But I believe that everyone is an extraordinary person, and you never know what is going on their life that may be changed by a genuine attempt at connecting. Or maybe the world just needs to be smaller. It's not going to get that way on its own.

This is the last time I drink coffee at 10pm!
i think the sky be getting lighter so perhaps time for a little shut-eye...

Ok but before I do, some rando fun things:
a light calligrapher.. I kid you not. his work is amazing.

look inside a street artist's sketchbook. Also super interesting. Utrecht on ptree has this book, I definitely read pretty much the entire thing one afternoon...

tamyo: a lovely trio that i had the privilege of playing with at 2 venues in Seoul last spring. recently found this website. some live vids on the yootoob too. MMM! amazing. xo

And I know it's not friday but thought i'd put up a phot from of-late.

Not creepy at all!

Mondoetry: Canvas by Imogen Heap

~~

Slow hard dark weighed-down love, black canvas

Revolve within, you understand

Fragile earth where cracks in the temperature

Keep it cool to give, you understand

Keep it cool to give, you understand

Cause I just can't find the strength to pull you up and keep you taut

No I just can't find the strength to hold you up and keep you taut

Hijacked lost track light fades another day left

Its long shadows lure you in

The more you look the less you see

So close your eyes and start to breathe

Oh, you said yourself, this wasn't easy

Mm, you said yourself this wasn't easy

Oh, I just can't find the strength to pull you up and keep you taut

No, I just can't find the strength to hold you up and keep you taut

Cause I just can't find the strength

To keep you taut

~~

: painting by Ripley Torres :

Friday Foto :D

I really love Rosie Hardy's work. Please visit her actual flickr page or website, or check out the original photo. Really enjoying the reds and blues in this, as well as the texture of her hair. Have a good weekend!! =)

Breathe!

Some Numbers and some fun timewasters!

#######
2: number of times i've woken up before 7am this week
1: number of meetings i completely forgot about
239879: pieces of data i'm trying to juggle (approximate)
7: months until my thesis is due

New Restaurants I've been enjoying:
- Pizzeria Vesuvius: brick-oven pizza, relaxed vibe, and even a ping pong table in the music venue in the basement! Also the yelp page says there is all-you-can-eat pizza and salad from 6-12 on Sundays. WHAT!
- Quickly: newly opened cash-only neighborhood asian snack/food and bubble tea shop. i've tried the royal mlk tea and the taro milk tea, and want to go back to try their little dian-xing menu! First need to stop by the atm...
- The Midway: still a new-ish restaurant. :) standard pub fare, with crazy chicken tenders and a decent burger. And you can get your own tots! The drink selection is pretty good also. And ... I love their outdoor patio - freakin awesome!

What I waste my time reading during the day:
365 New outfits for $365 dollars. So far it seems like only for the ladies but guys you could take inspiration too? maybe?

Reading shmeading. Still Addicted. Evil!

and my favorite bedtime reading: the story of the ages.

Speaking of... it's time to get some work done. :)

xo

Mondoetry: medium

inside moving disbelief

a darkbox in the square

make faraways so deafening

for ears in disrepair

looming brightness from a hundred million eyes

urban scrawling up above a hundred million spies

your fears transformed into

a beautiful delight

send off star flights beneath

the lashes holding tight

the others made it real

by drawing colors from still life

popculture caused its deadening

before it had its time

the rumble comes and goes

and the silence stays to deal with

mishap thoughts inside

this drowning dried up pose

swirly beats take form beside the memories

roads traveled laid over inside these enmities

you speak words still unformed

but cannot say a thing

and try to shape the light

into a song to sing

this journey hasn't ended

but has only made its start

expanses lay before the sun

where the open road

departs

inclines

winds winds

water water

water for

world inside

Friday Foto: OPA!

This act consists of some talented fire poi handling, fire swallowing, and awesomeness in general. I always try to see these guys, The Imperial Opa, when I get a chance. It's been amazing to see the acts and characters develop over this past year. OPA!!!!

Click Photo to go to the flickr page.

Hmm. Thursday.

Lately I've been having some trouble organizing my thoughts. I feel like to just throw something together it wouldn't be my best work or true thoughts. Frustrating, because I want to be sharing from my heart, but I feel like this:

If you've seen that movie (Disney's The Sword In the Stone) it's the scene where Merlin is attempting to pack his entire house and livelihood into the little carpet bag at his feet in this screen capture. And halfway through things get a little messy.

My friend Esther wrote a sweet blog entry on making time for the things you care about. It's nice, and I think I might either check out the book or stop wasting a few minutes here and there on things that I really don't care about. Something decent to think about on Thursdays.

It's coming down to my last few days with my little pup (she is moving to my old roommate S's new place. we adopted her together when we first moved to Atlanta and S was hoping to keep hanging with her. With my sporadic and often spontaneous schedule it is probably best, and pup will have less alone-time this way.) and I thought i'd share a photo of her:

And my favorite worst-best stories. :)

Worst: One night I was home relaxing kept smelling poop. Fresh poop. I cooked dinner and handled several phone calls in this manner, and kept on trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. In the midst of a phone conversation I realized that pup had sharted on me (look it up if you're not sure what that means) and basically flipped out while on the phone w/ my buddy D. D quickly and awkwardly ended the phone conversation and I did some laundry. Oh Bailey.

Best: If you've seen me recently or kept up with me on facebook you've probably already heard the story. Bailey likes to chew on her little gorilla toy (or is it a bear), and I was taking some pictures of her whilst on the phone w/ my mum, because the light was perfect - it was right at sunset. I realized after a few shots that she was falling asleep with her jaws still stuck in the toy. My laughing, talking on the phone, and constant shutter clicks were enough to make her try to open her eyes and stay awake, but not enough to keep her awake and she fell asleep. It was too cute.

Anyway, I will miss my little pup and her waking me up in the morning, and keeping me company when I'm home alone, but I know she's going to be with some awesome peeps who will take good care of her. :)

x0

A Little Love on Monday

I forgot today is a federal holiday. No wonder there wasn't too much traffic ! :) Does this mean I don't have to be here? * looks around * Well it is Columbus Day, and oddly enough he did spend some time in a ship on the open seas. So perhaps this week's poem is fitting.

Permit Me Voyage

by James Agee

From the Third Voyage of Hart Crane

Take these who will as may be: I
Am careless now of what they fail:
My heart and mind discharted lie
And surely as the nerved nail

Appoints all quarters on the north
So now it designates him forth
My sovereign God my princely soul
Whereon my flesh is priestly stole:

Whence forth shall my heart and mind
To God through soul entirely bow,
Therein such strong increase to find
In truth as is my fate to know:

Small though that be great God I know
I know in this gigantic day
What God is ruined and I know
How labors with Godhead this day:

How from the porches of our sky
The crested glory is declined:
And hear with what translated cry
The stridden soul is overshined:

And how this world of wildness through
True poets shall walk who herald you:
Of whom God grant me of your grace
To be, that shall preserve this race.

Permit me voyage, Love, into your hands.

Pix n Bikez

It's Friday and you know what that means... :D

Original here.

I love this photo. I have never been to Burning Man but I can only imagine the creative zany and possibly ridiculously awesome bikes that people build and bring to this event. Sometimes I go to flickr just to look at this photo. I have it saved in my favorites. Wish I could have seen these live and in 3D :)

have a great weekend! x0

Smörgåsbord

This was supposed to be a pretty meaningful and depth-filled entry, but my brain is just too scattered! (perhaps due to the heavy fat/starchy diet I've been consuming of late, and also the reduction in sleep, water, and veggies, all very bad things to do to one's body, in addition to a practically complete removal of any type of exercise from my schedule)

And yes I will be changing that lifestyle very soon. But have been very busy lately and cannot resist the mac and cheese they serve at the student center...

So this week's thoughts will be a collection of random things that have gone through my brain in the past few days.

on Men: do we (ladies) like to be with a rebel so we can know that we are the ones that tamed him? And if this is true, can it be justified by attributing it to subconscious behaviors? Or are we more drawn by the fact that he wanted to leave his rebel ways to be with us? It used to be Prince Charming who won the heart of the princess... Or perhaps that was just what his administration wanted the history books to say. Is the opposite true?

on Hipsters and scenesters: they always have the coolest sunglasses. I don't know if I could be called a true hipster for various reasons, but I do appreciate some of the fashion stylings brought to the alternative mainstream by hipster fashionistas. This includes urban outfitters. Sometimes due to the volume of hipsters the styles can seem monotonous but this is because you are zoomed out to the 10,000 ft above sea level altitude. you need to come down to the 10 or maybe 7 foot level so you can appreciate homemade embellished (bedazzled) sweaters and tattoo-style t-shirts with inked angel wings. and chucks. i also appreciate the indie-green attitude that is added to lifestyles. recycled art, community unity building through art walks and festivals, and indie-rock Haiti benefit concerts.

on Friendships: there is a line between an enabling friendship and sacrificing for a friend vs being a stand-in mother. i think the change must begin with you, and not forced on you by someone who is trying to help... But if you do wish to change and make steps toward that, a true friend will be there to pick you up when you fall and keep urging you to make and reach your goals.

on Fall: My favorite season. I miss having 4 seasons around for this one. :) loved raking leaves w/ my family on a sunny sunday afternoon, love the cooling weather after a hot summer, and love the idea of getting back in the grind after a little relaxed time at work/school. something I CAN still enjoy south of the mason-dixon line, however, is the myriad of pumpkin-flavored cookies, muffins, coffee, beers, breads, etc. that become available right about now. WIN!

on Angry Birds: ...just...need...to...beat...this...one...more...levelllll....

also one more thing: my sister passed the bar! (yay for her!)

Random stuff for you to check out:

Pandora: Ratatat Radio

YouTube: Explosions in the Sky "Waking up after coma"

She is here tonight. But i waited too long and it sold out. So we will commence instead. :)

Monday Poem

The Other Side of the Clouds

Under

Over

like the drip drop cleared

and now you can breathe

but the heavy lingers

lingers

drifting through with clammy

fingers

fingers

Backwards

Forwards

like the sun you've known

that you know is there

but the truth still lingers

lingers

Heavy

Over

Feather

Soldiers

mm, but

nothing can redeem

the time running down

in rivers

through the falling leaves

close

eyes

closed

just

....keep

..........running

Friday Foto

We all love Friday. Most of us, at least, I would say, ... I can only speak for myself on this point, but sometimes all I want to see is a darned good photo. Especially if the week has been difficult. With the rise of digital media and increased accessibility to higher end cameras for the common consumer (read: non professionals, incl. myself) I've realized that there is a difference between a well-taken photo, and a photo taken by a nice camera. What I will try to stick to is the former and not the latter :) Sometimes they will be mine and sometimes not. I'll list the source so if you are interested you can look at other works of theirs. if you do fall into the common consumer category I would challenge you to cease with the persistent photo-documentation of your life, if you have been so inclined, and take a moment before you snap a photo to figure out a better way to take it.

If you are still learning, as I am, you might be interested in this.

And now on to the Freakin Dope Friday Foto.

i was taken by this one.

Original here.

Attempted!

I've started about 5 different posts now and thrown away each of them. Well except for this one. This week has been a bit stressful on many levels, not just academically, which is usually the case. The 4am fire alarm going off in my building resulted in me wanting to crawl back in bed, and then sitting in my place and watching out the window to see when the fire truck would show up. Roommate was smart and exited the building.

In college I did the same thing once, except that after about 5 minutes I started to smell smoke. This was when my brain told me, "maybe you should check outside, hmm?" so I did, and the entire hallway was full of smoke. By this time everyone else had left the building, so I walked out into the hall and to the main staircase. It looked like the apocalypse had struck. (well not really but in my mind it seemed like I was the only one left and the zombies had taken everyone, but not until after a bomb-filled and flame-thrown all-out war, in the dorm stairwell) There was trash and a light grey dust everywhere, and dust was in the air, mixed with a lot of smoke....

I made it outside unscathed and joined the non-zombie, non-burnt-to-a-crisp students huddling in the cold. It turned out that some students had gone off to college not knowing how to use a microwave.

Maybe my danger-dash mechanism doesn't work. It might be good to check on that. On many levels. Perhaps being distracted from everything by everything else makes it difficult to hear what God and everyone else has to say to me.

Intentionality used to be a key part of my motivation for anything that I did. There needs to be more of it though. Lots more of it. Lately it seems this is missing, perhaps from purposeful squelching to protect my own heart, or from leaving off at whatever has succeeded in distracting me because I am afraid I will miss out on something great.

Fun thoughts for the rest of your week.

I am a huge fan of street art, artsy graffiti, and urban murals, etc.

This is a short and interesting commentary on one girl's art and message in Paris.

Photo of the day: In honor of the rain we had yesterday.

Monday Poem

I will try to do this weekly, because sometimes you just can't wait for the inspiration. Sometimes it needs to be drawn out and hewn from a large block of misshapen nothing. With a sledgehammer and a chainsaw.

xx0

This is an old poem:

Odyssey

January 2004

walk through the years with me
to see the things you but glanced over
step back in time with me
and we can learn together
the things I wanted to learn all those days ago
and its not too late
to discover your greatness
when once I would have fallen
here I have not
here I have stopped and remembered
and it might have been you
who saved me

what failure becries
the fallen are beautiful
when they have learned to fly
when they have learned to cry
about and here and there
I can but mimic what I see
I can but repeat
your words
over and over in my mind
oh follow me
walk in the footsteps you showed me to find
and look at the light
you taught me to follow
know what trails I found
could take me far away

and its then
and its now
if you were to let go
if you were to let me go

heaven only knows
truly...
heaven only knows
where the wind blows.

First Post woo Save the Mmanatees!

I used to write a lot. In fact in high school I wrote a mini novel, printed, copied, and bound it and gave it to friends for Christmas one year. I wrote oodles of poetry and read all the books I could get my hands on.

Recently I realized that the past six years have been spent reading technical papers, books with titles such as "Engineering Noise Control: Theory and Practice", "Reliability: Probabilistic Models and Statistical Methods", etc., and 700 page long user manuals for technical simulation programs I have been using in my research. Climbing magazines have also entered the melee, because they contain short and easy to read articles, with lots of awesome photographs.

Additionally, most of my days are spent at my desk in a lab on a campus somewhere, with no windows, a/c cranked down to 60F, and left with little time to formulate my own thoughts and put them together coherently. And if I DO have something to say, it must be condensed to a 140 character text or a one liner witty enough to put on facebook.

Hopefully the coherence will come back as the brain activity branches out. I used to keep a blog of daily happenings and such. This avenue of emotional and intellectual outpouring will consist of less daily-ness and more daily-thoughts. Coherently. Hopefully. :) And perhaps a photo or two.

I was inspired by:
my sis
and this
and this

Currently Geeking out over:

this